Though he knew Light had the right to refuse, knew that allowing Light to leave would be the smart thing to do, L found he didn't want Light to leave. Even if L didn't act on this new, crazy idea of his, he would be all right with that as long as Light was there and he was able to touch him, to continue to hold on to that wrist. Or, at least, that's what he thought he would be all right with. L had gone without sex his whole life, never felt the need to be with anyone else. Ignoring a few primal instincts wasn't that hard, was it? Though if he got right down to it, he didn't want to ignore them. Light had disregarded the rights of thousands of people, L had no qualms about doing so himself. The only thing that caused him to pause was the unknown of where this would put their relationship.
If they were going to engage in any sexual acts, L didn't want it to be like this. He didn't want to force himself onto Light. That torn expression on Light's face, however, made him think that perhaps somewhere Light wanted this just as much as he did. In fact, he knew Light did. They had taken the same aphrodisiac and thus were feeling the same effects. L was merely being more honest with himself than Light was. Instead, Light was scared of it, probably because of how much he wanted it. It wasn't so much that sex with L was terrifying, instead it was the prospect that he would enjoy it that was terrifying. If L could show him there was nothing to be afraid of, help him realize that what he was panicking over wasn't something to be afraid of, but something he should be looking forward to? L didn't have much - any - experience, but that was part of what made it exciting.
As Light stood up, L's grip remained tight but his arm limp as Light tugged on it. After a few moments of contemplation, L put his feet down on the floor and tugged in turn in order to pull himself into a standing position next to Light, loosening his grip after getting himself situated. "You're being ridiculous. Calm down. I'm not going to do anything to you." Of course, that was a lie, but when had L ever been known to be honest?
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2011-01-18 09:52 am (UTC)If they were going to engage in any sexual acts, L didn't want it to be like this. He didn't want to force himself onto Light. That torn expression on Light's face, however, made him think that perhaps somewhere Light wanted this just as much as he did. In fact, he knew Light did. They had taken the same aphrodisiac and thus were feeling the same effects. L was merely being more honest with himself than Light was. Instead, Light was scared of it, probably because of how much he wanted it. It wasn't so much that sex with L was terrifying, instead it was the prospect that he would enjoy it that was terrifying. If L could show him there was nothing to be afraid of, help him realize that what he was panicking over wasn't something to be afraid of, but something he should be looking forward to? L didn't have much - any - experience, but that was part of what made it exciting.
As Light stood up, L's grip remained tight but his arm limp as Light tugged on it. After a few moments of contemplation, L put his feet down on the floor and tugged in turn in order to pull himself into a standing position next to Light, loosening his grip after getting himself situated. "You're being ridiculous. Calm down. I'm not going to do anything to you." Of course, that was a lie, but when had L ever been known to be honest?